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Why Holding Space Is Essential for Your Relationship


Two people cuddling after holding space for each other.

Today, nearly 70% of people say their dating lives aren’t going well. People are disillusioned by the dating game and are having just as much trouble once they do find a relationship.


Not having presence in your daily life can lead to so many different problems in your relationship. Learning to hold space in your relationship can allow you to flourish and let love grow.


When you’re a person holding space in your relationship, it builds a strong foundation that lets you become the best partner possible. If you’re trying to learn more about holding space in your relationship, read on.


Learn What Holding Space Means


First, what is holding space? It refers to the act of sitting and listening to someone without judgment or reactivity. This is both a means to become a better communicator and learning to live fully present in the moment.


Learning to become present is a key part of holistic living that can help you in every aspect of your daily life. It keeps you out of your ego and allows you to be empathetic and compassionate in all of your interactions.


Understand the Most Important Reasons to Hold Space


Learning to hold space from time to time is essential to your life, and will help you get the best results from your relationships. Here are some of the amazing ways that holding space can revolutionize your relationship:


  • You’ll start to become an active listener and improve your mental health
  • It builds trust between you and your partner and creates safe spaces
  • Arguments will become less frequent and necessary
  • You will grow your capacity to feel and express love
  • It helps you let go of what you can’t control
  • Will open up your sex life and romance and serve you in creating a safe and open environment
  • You will become a better communicator as a whole


Holding space teaches you to think and feel outside of yourself, which is the very essence of relationships. These points apply whether you’re in a marriage or any other committed relationship. This is important since about 65% of divorces are related to communication issues.


Practice Learning How to Hold Space


So, how can you hold space? The best thing you can do is learn to become more mindful as a whole. It’s a practice that you can develop with time and effort. About 14% of people today have meditated, and it’s a practice that is continuously growing.


Meditation is an excellent way to learn to hold space because it takes you out of reactivity and allows you to live in the present moment. It’s a simple practice, which involves sitting calmly and noticing your breathing. There are several types of meditation, including mindfulness and transcendental meditation.


Experts say that meditation can provide effects similar to those that patients get when taking medication for depression and heart issues. Part of what meditation does for you is teaching you how to breathe deeply and calm your anxiety.


Instead of reflexively defending yourself, providing answers, or thinking of something to say, you will train yourself to slow your breathing, exist in the present moment, and respond accordingly. When you focus on deep breathing, it activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which provides a relaxation effect that is the opposite of your fight or flight response.


When learning to be a person holding space, you will be more calm and resolute in your relationship even in times of adversity.


Add Presence to Your Relationship


Holding space can bring so many rewards to your relationship when you master it. This is the type of skill that will help you learn more about yourself and the person that you’re with.


Modern Intimacy provides coaching and therapy that will help you through even the most difficult parts of your relationship. If you’d like to book a session, get in touch to book a free 30-minute consultation.

Modern Intimacy is a group therapy practice, founded by renowned Psychologist and Sex Therapist, Dr. Kate Balestrieri. This inclusive blog is designed to provide a wealth of information and resources for mental health, relationships, and sexuality. Subscribe today to get the latest information from our expert contributors from all around the world.


Author Bio

Dr. Kate Balestrieri is a Licensed Psychologist (CA, FL, IL + NY), Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and PACT III trained Couples Therapist. She is the Founder of Modern Intimacy. Follow her on TikTok and IG @drkatebalestrieri and the Modern Intimacy team on IG @themodernintimacy.



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