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Healing Retroactive Jealousy: An 8-Week Course

Healing Retroactive Jealousy:

An 8-Week Course


Coping with feelings of jealousy can be challenging and even more so when those jealous feelings and thoughts are stemming from a partner’s past and interfering with your present relationship. At Modern Intimacy, we’ve created a virtual course for those who want to break free from the cycle of retroactive jealousy (RJ) and improve their mental health and romantic relationships.


Retroactive jealousy, also sometimes referred to as relationship or retroactive jealousy OCD, is a unique type of jealousy that often involves intense preoccupation with a current partner’s sexual or romantic past with their previous partners. While retroactive jealousy can have some cross-over with symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), someone who experiences retroactive jealousy doesn’t automatically have OCD and vice versa.


This 8-week course, Healing from Retroactive Jealousy, is a structured program that will help you understand the reasons you might struggle with retroactive jealousy and the function it serves in your life and relationships, identifying behaviors that are disconnecting you from yourself and partner, and building a toolbox of coping skills you can turn to when feelings of jealousy surface. We can’t promise that you will never feel jealous again, however, this course is designed to give you resources that can help you move through retroactive jealousy in a more productive and healthy way.

Who is this Course For?


Healing from Retroactive Jealousy is a course for people with retroactive jealousy symptoms including those who struggle with intrusive thoughts and intense jealousy around a partner’s past relationship(s) or sexual history. If experiencing retroactive jealousy is causing noticeable impacts to your romantic relationships and leading to feelings of anger, shame, and confusion – this could be a great course for you to explore ways to cope with the present symptoms of retroactive jealousy.

This course may be helpful if you relate to any of the following scenarios or signs of retroactive jealousy:

  • You feel obsessed with thinking about your partner’s romantic and/or sexual past
  • You feel a sense of anger and/or betrayal towards your partner
  • You feel insecure and find yourself comparing yourself to your partner’s previous relationships
  • Unwanted thoughts about a partner’s past has been a pattern in all or several of your previous relationships
  • You notice compulsive behaviors such as checking your partner’s text messages, social media, or the social media accounts of people from your partner’s past
  • You and your partner have frequent arguments that stem from the persistent feelings of jealousy over their past 
  • When thinking about your partner’s past, you think of them in a negative or judgmental light, even if you logically don’t feel they’ve done anything wrong
  • Feelings of retroactive jealousy are negatively impacting sexual intimacy and emotional connection with your partner 
  • Quality time spent with your partner is often interrupted by thinking about their past
  • You feel easily triggered into ruminating about your partner’s past
  • You want to feel more in the present moment with your partner and not so preoccupied by thoughts of their past



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How Does the Course Work?


This 8-week course is a virtual and individualized coaching program facilitated as a one-on-one weekly or bi-weekly meeting. First, we start with a free 30-minute consultation to learn more about how retroactive jealousy has been impacting your life and your goals for change to ensure that this program is a good fit for your needs. During this call, we also go over the logistics of session availability, how Telehealth sessions work, pricing, and are happy to answer any questions you might have. Once we determine if the program is a good fit, we schedule the first coaching session with the course facilitator where the healing work can officially begin.

Each week, the course facilitator will open a discussion about a certain topic or theme related to retroactive jealousy, provide education, and exercises to help in overcoming retroactive jealousy. You also will be given homework assignments and/or educational handouts each week so you can continue to explore and reflect on the work you’re doing during and in between meetings.

Some of the themes covered in this course include, but are not limited to:

  • The potential causes of and types of retroactive jealousy
  • How to identify and manage triggers when they surface 
  • The impacts RJ can have on present relationships
  • How to continue the healing work once the course ends (individual therapy, couples therapy, group therapy, etc.)
  • Developing an actionable recovery plan
  • & more!

How is Retroactive Jealousy Typically Treated?


The treatment for retroactive jealousy depends on the presentation of it, the symptoms a person is experiencing, the goals they are trying to achieve, and the amount of time someone is willing to put into treatment. Some providers will take an approach that involves Cognitive Behavioral Therapy interventions such as reframing negative or limiting thoughts and exploring core beliefs that might be tied into experiences with RJ.


A lot of great work can be done when treating RJ, just by acknowledging it is present and addressing it head-on as opposed to pushing it down. We hear from many people who come to us looking for help with RJ that they often feel shame for being so focused on their partner’s past. We’re here to help alleviate that shame so you can feel confident to take control of retroactive jealousy and find more power in staying in the present.

Is This Course the Same as Therapy?


It’s important to note that this course is considered a coaching program and is not therapy. Offering this course as a coaching program allows us to extend our reach and work with people all over the world suffering from RJ as opposed to the handful of states where we are licensed to provide therapy services.


Coaching is actually a particularly beneficial model for working through retroactive jealousy as the structure is directive, solution-focused, and actionable. Coaching also tends to be a more short-term form of treatment compared to traditional psychotherapy, which is a perk for some who are ready to dive into the work of healing from RJ.


If you live in one of the states where we have a licensed therapist, you are welcome to continue working within our practice once the course ends, if that would be helpful. Alternatively, we would be happy to provide you with vetted resources outside of our practice who specialize in retroactive jealousy, if we don’t have licensure in the state where you live.


How Can I Get Started?


If you’re interested in starting the Healing from Retroactive Jealousy course, feel free to reach out to us so we can help coordinate the next steps. Please schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking the button below so we can make sure that this course is in alignment with your goals/needs. During this time, we can also answer any questions you might have for