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What Is Tantric Sex? Your Guide To Getting Started


A couple wonders, "What is tantric sex?"

Could your sex life use a healthy boost? Trying something new with your partner (or even alone) is one of the best ways to keep things feeling fresh and exciting. Not to mention, exploring can bring two people closer together.

Whether your sex life is satisfactory or you’re struggling to connect with your partner, there are options to consider and explore. One of the more nontraditional options you may have never heard of is tantric sex.

Tantra comes from the Sanskrit root word “tan” which translates to “to weave.” Tantric sex is a practice that combines deepening intimacy into your sexual practice and is considered a form of sexual enlightenment.

Tantra is a combination of Buddhist and Hindu traditions. It’s believed that learning about tantra can bring spiritual transformation. Practicing with a partner can teach you to directly engage with each other’s sexual energy.

It’s also believed that those who practice tantra experience deeper connection, levels of trust, love, understanding, and intimacy.

Read on to find out what tantric sex is and how it may benefit you and your partner.

What Is Tantric Sex?

Holistic therapy may not sound like it has anything to do with sex, but in actuality, it explores the connection between mind and body. Tantric sex is a form of holistic sex therapy in that it is a practice of incorporating mindfulness into your sexual intercourse.

Tantric sex is a form of sacred sexuality and goes beyond the simple act of penetrative sex. It’s about bringing together your sexual desire and passions with your spiritual desires and heart.

It’s also about slowing down the act of sex, allowing you to pay attention, take your time, and explore sensations and emotions instead of running full speed towards an orgasm.

This is usually achieved by practicing synchronizing your breath with your partner, eye contact, caressing, and focusing attention on the energy between your bodies.

It also involves focusing on heightening the experience of sex by harnessing the power of your senses and energy. When you are aware of your energy, tantra will show you how to expand that energy and help it flourish through your whole body.

It’s also possible to explore this side of sexuality alone with tantric masturbation.

Focusing on yourself and your individual needs and desires can lead to a greater understanding of what you seek in relationships, intimacy, and can lead to a healthier level of self-esteem.

You may also benefit from speaking to a sex therapist or seeking medical advice if you’re trying to work through individual issues, questions, or blockages.

The Benefits of Tantric Sex

There are so many benefits to this “organic” type of sex.

Even though it doesn’t always involve direct sexual penetration, and the focus is not usually on genital stimulation, there are many benefits of practicing tantric sex.

On a physical level, it can help you discover more of what you want from your sexual experiences. It can also help you access multiple and more powerful orgasms, more relaxed and quality sexual activity, and even full-body orgasms.

It may also lower blood pressure and help improve your heart health.

On a mental level, it can help remove blockages around sex, heighten your connection to intimacy and love, and create a new mind-body-spirit connection.

Tantric sex can also deepen your understanding of intimacy with your partner and yourself. Feeling comfortable with your intimacy and exploring it can lead to stronger relationships and understanding of your sexual and emotional needs.

It can, over time, create a heightened level of connection to your partner that goes beyond the bedroom and keeps you present in the moment.

Building up your connection can lead to elevated feelings of closeness. Because it involves focusing on being more aware of your partner, it can lead to working through issues better than before.

It will also incorporate the practice of patience. Tantra forces you to slow down, work through positions you’ve never considered, and balance holding back an orgasm with consciously staying connected to your partner.

How to Practice Tantric Sex

There are many tips for beginners who are interested in trying tantric sex. It’s important to look through all your options and explore what you feel is best for you whether it’s alone or with a partner.

Though many associate tantric sex with having hours-long sex sessions, this doesn’t have to be the case, especially if it sounds intimidating. It’s more about taking time to explore your sexual energy, and there are a few ways to do that.

There are simple guides, and your first time doesn’t have to be complicated.

First, make sure your space reflects what you’re trying to achieve. It’s hard to relax in a messy room. Consider cleaning, setting the mood with soft music, and adjusting the temperature as needed. Make sure you’re both comfortable, physically and mentally.

You can start by sitting cross-legged across from your partner. This way you can stare deeply into each other’s eyes and get comfortable doing so. Focus on relaxing, and try using breathing techniques through any tension that may arise.

You can also try a tantric massage, which is not a typical massage. Instead of deep or hard pressing, a tantric massage focuses on soft or teasing touches. You can use soft, sensual hand touches or use props like feathers or silk toys to create a different sensation.

The goal of the tantric massage is to lead your whole body to a blissful sensation.

Next, you can try the yab-yum position. For this, your partner sits with their legs crossed and you then sit on your partner’s lap, facing them. Synchronize your breath. The intimacy of this position creates trust and appreciation.

While in the yab-yum position you can try tantric kissing. As you breathe together, kiss slow and sensually. Take breaks to breathe, nibble, and lick.

Incorporate More Mindfulness Into Your Sex Life

Now that you know what is tantric sex, you can explore the options of practicing it. Sex with your partner can evolve beyond simple carnal pleasure.

If and when you do decide to move to penetrative sex, this build-up will lead to a more mindful, attentive, and deeper sexual experience.

Tantric sex is just one form of practicing mindfulness to strengthen your partnership or personal relationship to sex.

Modern Intimacy offers many courses, resources, and blog posts to explore your sexuality and mental health, whether it’s alone or with a partner.

Schedule a consultation with them today to begin your journey to deeper self-discovery.

Modern Intimacy is a group therapy practice, founded by renowned Psychologist and Sex Therapist, Dr. Kate Balestrieri. This inclusive blog is designed to provide a wealth of information and resources for mental health, relationships, and sexuality. Subscribe today to get the latest information from our expert contributors from all around the world.


Author Bio

Dr. Kate Balestrieri is a Licensed Psychologist (CA, FL, IL + NY), Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and PACT III trained Couples Therapist. She is the Founder of Modern Intimacy. Follow her on TikTok and IG @drkatebalestrieri and the Modern Intimacy team on IG @themodernintimacy.



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