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Teledildonics: What They Are & How to Shop for Them

by | Dec 12, 2023 | KINK, SEXUALITY


One of the biggest joys of an increasingly virtual world is the potential for human connection across space. Luckily, the sex toy industry has taken full advantage of this. Teledildonics are sex toys that are operated remotely, often through smartphone and internet applications, and allow sexual stimulation between partners virtually. Such high tech sex toys often utilize Bluetooth to enable long distance sex, or any sex between partners who are physically separated (whether that be across the world or across the dinner table).


What’s in a Name?


The term “teledildonics” has been used in various ways throughout history. The term was popularized by technology critic and author Howard Rheingold to refer to virtual sexual activity, but has actually been around as early as the 1970s, when author Ted Nelson wrote his book Computer Lib/Dream Machines, years before computers and remote intimacy were commonplace.


In addition to remote controlled sex toys, people have used the term to refer to a range of sexual technology, such as sex robots. The most accurate and widely used definition of teledildonics, however, is that of remote sexual stimulation and internet connected sex toy use.

What Types of Teledildonics Exist Today?


There are quite a few toy companies, including Lovense, We-Vibe, and Kiiroo, that offer teledildonic devices for a range of sexual experiences. A subset of these toys allows one user to control the device of their partner via smartphone. For example, the Lovense Lush 3 is a wearable G-spot vibrator that can sync with the Lovense Remote app; using the app, a partner can control the vibration patterns while it is worn, from anywhere in the world. The app also saves your favorite vibration patterns and allows you to roam a public library of patterns to choose from. This sex toy can also sync to music and even to the sounds around you.


Teledildonics can also be used in synchronized intimacy and play. These toys sync to an application that allows each toy to respond to the other toy’s movements. These are often used in long distance couples and relationships. An example of this type of toy is the Kiiroo Onyx+, a masturbation sleeve for penis owners, and Pearl 2, a G-spot vibrator. The toys respond to movement and touch input from each other, allowing users to engage in remote sex without having to handle their smartphones. Similarly, the Lovense Nora couples set includes two rabbit style vibrators that respond to each other’s movements and settings.


What If You’re Single?


You don’t need to have a long-term partner to enter the world of teledildonics. You can use many of the teledildonic features to enjoy solo play. For example, many toys allow you to sync toy sensations with music, or even online games. You can also include teledildonics into your dating life. For example, if you want to spice things up with someone you’ve met on a dating app, you could let them use the app to control your device from afar.

What Should I Look for in a Teledildonic Device?


If you are new to the world of cyber sexuality, shopping for a teledildonic device can be exciting, but at times overwhelming. Here are a few points to consider as you explore your options:


What features are most important to you?


Are you looking for a device you can use with your long-distance partner simultaneously? If so, you may want to prioritize devices that sync with each other. Or, are you looking for a discreet device? Then, you will want to find a toy that is wearable and silent.


Some important features that you may be interested in prioritizing include: Type of stimulation (G-spot, clitoral, prostate, etc.), wearability of the device, synchronization, application features, material preferences, cleanability, and price.


Price Point


Price can be an especially important factor in determining what teledildonic toy you end up purchasing. Price does not always equate to quality. You can find more budget-friendly teledildonics by using price filters on online sex toy stores. Prices typically range from about $100 to over $300, depending on the brand, features, and materials. As a tip, when searching for a more affordable toy, ensure you read reviews about connectivity and charging. Some toys (regardless of price) may be more prone to losing app connectivity than others.

Safety Features


Most applications let you control others’ access, such that you can invite anyone to control a device, as well as remove access at any time. Be sure safety features exist, especially if you are looking to use teledildonics in more casual encounters. As an important caveat, one possible danger in teledildonic use is the potential for an unknown or unwanted user to operate your remote device. Always check in with your partners to ensure they are the ones using apps when far away.

Gender Affirming and LGBTQ+ Shopping


Unfortunately, many sex toy shops and applications tend to use cis-normative and heteronormative language. For example, many synchronized toys refer to a toy for the “man” or the “woman,” with the erroneous assumption that all penis and vulva owners identify as such.


If you are wanting a more affirmative shopping experience, you might be able to find a local sex shop that advertises as a queer friendly space. If this is not available to you, there are a few websites that offer more inclusive and affirming shopping experiences, including Enby and Babeland.

Education can be Fun!


Apps and teledilodonic features can offer a fun way to explore your body and what you find pleasurable. With applications that allow you to save vibration patterns, you can learn over time what types of sensations feel good. Long-distance sex can sometimes help break a sexual rut, allowing you and a partner to explore new ways of connecting from a distance. Many sex toy applications even offer ideas and tips you can try out on your own.


Some folks feel more comfortable expressing their wants and desires remotely. Teledildonics can allow a user to engage in sexual stimulation in a way that may allow a less restrained and more authentic communication between partners. What a fun way to learn about yourself and your partner(s)!


Teledildonics offer a pleasurable option to stay connected with long distance partners, liven things up at home, or flirt with someone new. Have fun shopping!

Modern Intimacy is a group therapy practice, founded by renowned Psychologist and Sex Therapist, Dr. Kate Balestrieri. This inclusive blog is designed to provide a wealth of information and resources for mental health, relationships, and sexuality. Subscribe today to get the latest information from our expert contributors from all around the world.


Author Bio

Dr. Arenella received her PhD in clinical psychology at the University of Missouri, St. Louis. She completed her postdoctoral fellowship as the Michael Metz Fellow in Couples’ Sexual Health at the Institute for Sexual and Gender Health at the University of Minnesota Medical School. She is an AASECT certified sex therapist, and has received specialized training in sex therapy modalities, gender affirming care, and sexual trauma. She is a licensed psychologist in California and Minnesota.



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