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Navigating ADHD in Sex and Relationships with Dr. Kojo Sarfo (Episode 10)

Nov 29, 2021


Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is commonly diagnosed in childhood but can present for the first time during adulthood. About half of the kids who have this mental health condition will not outgrow the symptoms of ADHD.

Symptoms such as trouble focusing, impulsivity, and hyperactivity make relationships challenging. But for adults, they can lead to a range of sexual issues and wreak havoc in the bedroom too. Here are some of the ways a person with ADHD can struggle in their sex life.

ADHD and Your Sex Drive

Some people with ADHD have an overactive sex drive. Others have hyposexuality and low libidos as a result of the disorder or ADHD medications. So, the sexual issues at play can run the gamut from porn addiction and sexual risk-taking behavior to being distracted during sex or having erectile dysfunction.

You can chat with your doctor about changing your medications if you feel they are not helping adequately. The right meds may:

  • Combat the hyperactivity that leads to hypersexuality
  • Address the anxiety and inability to pay attention that can make reaching orgasm difficult

ADHD and Romantic Relationships

Hypersexuality can bring about affairs, unconventional fetishes, and a desire for exhibitionism and other risky activities such as drug abuse. Promiscuity could also mean that you pass an STD on to your partner. On the other end of the spectrum, you may not be interested in sex at all as an adult with ADHD. This could be due to boredom, or a hypersensitivity to smells, tastes, and touch. There is no way your partner can enjoy sex if they sense displeasure radiating off of you.

Not surprisingly, these challenges can exacerbate the other problems that ADHD brings to relationships; problems like a fear of intimacy, procrastination, and mood swings that can make partnered life feel like a tinderbox. And if both individuals have ADHD, oh boy, that adds a whole other dimension of stress to the mix.

You Don’t Have To Go Through This Alone

In the age of the internet, help for your specific situation is more accessible than ever before. More research on ADHD means that experts can truly make a difference in your life. Individual therapy can assist with low self-esteem, symptom management, and the compulsive behaviors and substance misuse that ADHD can cause.

And couples’ counseling can provide you and your significant other with tools to function better as a duo inside and outside the bedroom.


In this episode, Dr. Kate and TikTok influencer, Dr. Kojo Sarfo, talk in depth about ADHD, and its impact on relationships and sexuality.

Dr. Kojo Sarfo, DNP, PMHNP is a social media content creator, mental health practitioner, and psychotherapist with over 1 million+ followers on his social media channels (TikTok,Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, Triller). He posts skits, songs, and videos in order to bring people together and to promote mental health awareness. On his TikTok channel, he uses relevant trends and popular music to educate individuals about mental health conditions and the importance of self-care. Dr. Sarfo is also the author of an Amazon best-selling book entitled “You Already Won.”

Stay connected with Dr. Kojo here:






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Dr. Kate Balestrieri, host of Modern Intimacy, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, helps people live more fulfilled lives by shattering stigma and erasing shame. Dr. Kate invites you to join her as she investigates the relationship between sex, mental health, relationships and modern society.


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