It may come as a surprise for some but kinks such a cuckolding and hot wifery are some of the most popular fantasies people gravitate towards. The concept of cuckolding can be perplexing to some and even stigmatized, but when all parties are enthusiastically consenting, these types of kinks can be exhilarating for couples to explore together.
On the episode of Get Naked with Dr. Kate, Dr. Kate Balestrieri and Heather Shannon discuss the concept of kinks like cuckolding and hot wifery, why they are so titillating to folks, and how to implement these kinks and fantasies into your relationship, if that’s something you’re into!
What is a Hot Wifery and Cuckolding Kink?
The term cuckolding is a bit more mainstream, but first let’s talk about Hot Wifery as its emerging in popularity. A “hot wife” usually refers to a (typically) female partner who engages in intimate encounters or relationships with others outside the primary relationship. A hot wife can be a partner of any gender and can be implemented in relationships despite the gender makeup. The concept of the hot wife plays into the fantasy that one’s wife is so desirable that other men are dying to be with her and the partner with the hot wife fantasy enjoys the knowing or watching their partner be intimate with others.
Cuckolding is a bit more well-known as a kink. The term cuckold actually refers to a (typically) male who is aware that their (traditionally female) partner is sleeping with other people. Today, people of any gender and sexual orientation can and do enjoy a cuckold kink and engage in it regularly with a consenting partner/s.
Why Do People Like Hot Wife and Cuckold Kinks?
When topics around these types of kink come up, many people can’t imagine getting turned on by witnessing their partner be sexually intimate with another person. However, for those who do enjoy this kink, there are some theories out there as to why.
One reason people enjoy hot wife and cuckold kinks is due to experiencing feelings of compersion. For some, jealousy is not something felt often in romantic relationships; instead, they more so feel what is called compersion or a feeling of joy in knowing a partner is happy connecting (sexually, romantically, etc.) with others.
Others like the submission aspect of these kinks. Hot wife and cuckold kinks do offer a sense of a person submitting to another in the form of consenting to their partner to be intimate with others and being a part of that experience.
Some people experience arousal around humiliation. Sometimes, when people are cheated on, one common thing they say is “I feel so embarrassed,” as they feel duped by a person they chose. There is an element of humiliation in that the partner with the kink is not only consenting to their partner exploring intimacy outside the primary relationship, but also watching and experiencing arousal. To be clear, there is nothing shameful or embarrassing about non-consensually being betrayed by a partner or engaging in cuckold kinks; mainstream society often feels uncomfortable about these topics and thus creates a sense of taboo, which, by the way, can also be an arousal aspect of cuckold kinks.
If you have a cuckold or hot wife fantasy, we invite you to take a listen to this week’s episode to learn more about the ways in which you can explore it further in your relationship, providing all parties are enthusiastically consenting.
Heather Shannon and Dr. Kate talk about the sexual kink Hot Wife and Cuckolding kinks. They explore what these terms mean. Hot Wife and Cuckholding kinks play with themes of humiliation, desire, power and pride, and can be practiced in heterosexual and queer relationships.
They discuss Cuckolding and Hot Wifing, and the differences between them. They also talk about the mystery around this form of kink and why this is erotic to some. Both can be practiced in relationships that practice open monogamy or consensual non-monogamy.
Heather and Dr. Kate outline how to begin this conversation with your partner, if this is interesting to you, as well as how to talk about the experience and feelings after participating in this practice.
It is an open and very direct conversation about this sexual kink.
Heather Shannon is a Certified Sex Therapist and Host of the top-ranked “Ask A Sex Therapist” podcast. With over 12 years in private practice, Heather helps queer, kinky and/or non-monogamous people to explore who they are as sexual beings and how they want to show up in their relationships. Heather has been featured in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health and Self Magazine as well as on podcasts including The Horny Housewife and Curious Girl Diaries. She is a sex and relationship expert for the Peanut app, which serves 2.5M women throughout all stages of life.