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Hot Wife and Cuckolding Kinks with Heather Shannon

Mar 29, 2024

Heather Shannon and Dr. Kate talk about the sexual kink Hot Wife and Cuckolding kinks. They explore what these terms mean. Hot Wife and Cuckolding kinks play with themes of humiliation, desire, power and pride, and can be practiced in heterosexual and queer relationships.

They discuss Cuckolding and Hot Wifing, and the differences between them. They also talk about the mystery around this form of kink and why this is erotic to some. Both can be practiced in relationships that practice open monogamy or consensual non-monogamy. Heather and Dr. Kate outline how to begin this conversation with your partner, if this is interesting to you, as well as how to talk about the experience and feelings after participating in this practice. It is an open and very direct conversation about this sexual kink.

Heather Shannon is a Certified Sex Therapist and Host of the top-ranked “Ask A Sex Therapist” podcast. With over 12 years in private practice, Heather helps queer, kinky and/or non-monogamous people to explore who they are as sexual beings and how they want to show up in their relationships. Heather has been featured in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health and Self Magazine as well as on podcasts including The Horny Housewife and Curious Girl Diaries. She is a sex and relationship expert for the Peanut app, which serves 2.5M women throughout all stages of life.


00:00 – 02:12 Listener question regarding cuckholding/hot wifery fantasies and introduction of Heather Shannon

02:20 – 03:11 The commonality of cuckholding questions

03:13 – 04:40 Defining cuckholding vs. hot wifery

04:45 – 5:25 Role of humiliation

05:26 – 05:58 Various elements of pride in hot wifery

06:06 – 07:42 Chosen emasculation and why its erotic for some men

07:43 – 08:45 The power in the subversive

09:04 – 09:49 The freedom that can be found in being subversive

09:50 – 10:27 Being in a cuckhold role allows for serving rather than performing

10:28 – 12:19 Debunking “alpha” and “beta” language

12:20 – 13:05 Cuckholding and sexual tension

13:06 – 14:38 Women in the role of cuckholding and hot wifery fantasies

14:39 -15:15 The origin of cuckholding as a term

15:16 – 17:35 Can cuckholding and hot wifery exist in the reverse or in queer relationships?

17:41 – 19:04 Power play in cuckholding

19:05 – 19:40 Common concerns about bringing up this kink in relationships

19:41 – 20:38 What are some things that partners should think about when wanting to introduce cuckholding/hot wifery into their relationship?

20:39 – 22:14 The importance of gradual exploration

22:24 – 22:35 Things can remain fantasies and don’t have to be played out in real life

22:37 – 23:44 Explore the part of you that makes you feel like something is “wrong” with having kinks

24:52 – 25:55 The mixed emotions that can come with playing in this space

25:56 – 27:09 What will feel completing in the process of exploring this type of play?

27:20 -28:07 Important reminders to tell yourself when exploring kink and play

28:29 -29:03 How can kink be something that enhances intimacy for folks?

29:10 – 30:12 Kink is not always about penetration and orgasm

30:17 – 30:45 Assumptions people make about kinky people, including hypersexuality and nonmonogamy

31:15 -32:09 The trustbuilding and negotiation that comes with exploring kink

32:51 – 34:50 2 suggestions for resources for folks looking to explore cuckholding and hot wifery

34:52 – 36:02 Tips for debriefing and aftercare when it comes to kink play

36:03 – 38:02 Outro

This is the cover for the Modern Intimacy with Dr. Kate Balestrieri podcast.
Dr. Kate Balestrieri, host of Modern Intimacy, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, helps people live more fulfilled lives by shattering stigma and erasing shame. Dr. Kate invites you to join her as she investigates the relationship between sex, mental health, relationships and modern society.


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