Heather Shannon and Dr. Kate talk about the sexual kink Hot Wife and Cuckolding kinks. They explore what these terms mean. Hot Wife and Cuckolding kinks play with themes of humiliation, desire, power and pride, and can be practiced in heterosexual and queer relationships.
They discuss Cuckolding and Hot Wifing, and the differences between them. They also talk about the mystery around this form of kink and why this is erotic to some. Both can be practiced in relationships that practice open monogamy or consensual non-monogamy. Heather and Dr. Kate outline how to begin this conversation with your partner, if this is interesting to you, as well as how to talk about the experience and feelings after participating in this practice. It is an open and very direct conversation about this sexual kink.
Heather Shannon is a Certified Sex Therapist and Host of the top-ranked “Ask A Sex Therapist” podcast. With over 12 years in private practice, Heather helps queer, kinky and/or non-monogamous people to explore who they are as sexual beings and how they want to show up in their relationships. Heather has been featured in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health and Self Magazine as well as on podcasts including The Horny Housewife and Curious Girl Diaries. She is a sex and relationship expert for the Peanut app, which serves 2.5M women throughout all stages of life.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 – 02:12 Listener question regarding cuckholding/hot wifery fantasies and introduction of Heather Shannon
02:20 – 03:11 The commonality of cuckholding questions
03:13 – 04:40 Defining cuckholding vs. hot wifery
04:45 – 5:25 Role of humiliation
05:26 – 05:58 Various elements of pride in hot wifery
06:06 – 07:42 Chosen emasculation and why its erotic for some men
07:43 – 08:45 The power in the subversive
09:04 – 09:49 The freedom that can be found in being subversive
09:50 – 10:27 Being in a cuckhold role allows for serving rather than performing
10:28 – 12:19 Debunking “alpha” and “beta” language
12:20 – 13:05 Cuckholding and sexual tension
13:06 – 14:38 Women in the role of cuckholding and hot wifery fantasies
14:39 -15:15 The origin of cuckholding as a term
15:16 – 17:35 Can cuckholding and hot wifery exist in the reverse or in queer relationships?
17:41 – 19:04 Power play in cuckholding
19:05 – 19:40 Common concerns about bringing up this kink in relationships
19:41 – 20:38 What are some things that partners should think about when wanting to introduce cuckholding/hot wifery into their relationship?
20:39 – 22:14 The importance of gradual exploration
22:24 – 22:35 Things can remain fantasies and don’t have to be played out in real life
22:37 – 23:44 Explore the part of you that makes you feel like something is “wrong” with having kinks
24:52 – 25:55 The mixed emotions that can come with playing in this space
25:56 – 27:09 What will feel completing in the process of exploring this type of play?
27:20 -28:07 Important reminders to tell yourself when exploring kink and play
28:29 -29:03 How can kink be something that enhances intimacy for folks?
29:10 – 30:12 Kink is not always about penetration and orgasm
30:17 – 30:45 Assumptions people make about kinky people, including hypersexuality and nonmonogamy
31:15 -32:09 The trustbuilding and negotiation that comes with exploring kink
32:51 – 34:50 2 suggestions for resources for folks looking to explore cuckholding and hot wifery
34:52 – 36:02 Tips for debriefing and aftercare when it comes to kink play
36:03 – 38:02 Outro
