There’s nothing wrong with needing some tips and tricks for enhancing romantic connection, or any kind of intimate connection with a partner. Romantic or sexual intimacy has the ability to wane over time and it doesn’t have to be a major concern for the relationship if you and your partner are willing to get creative with each other around bolstering connection.
On this episode of Get Naked with Dr. Kate, Dr. Kate and Doc Erica Holmes discuss various activities couples can try together to enhance their romantic, sexual, and emotional connection with each other. Check out the episode if you’re interested in learning ways to connect on a deeper level with your partner.
Types of Connection
You meet someone new, you notice a physical attraction to them, romantic feelings start to grow, as well as romantic interest, you enter into a relationship with this person, fall in love, and it develops into a long term relationship. Over time, you are connecting with your partner on various levels but as you fall into a routine with your partner, one or multiple forms of connection might start to feel less intense. The honeymoon phase may have passed, but you and your partner still have the ability to explore and expand types of connection with each other that feels most fulfilling and connective.
Physical Connection
Physical connection usually applies to types of connection where partners are engaging with each other physically, but not necessarily sexually (we’ll get to sexual connection soon!). Physical connection can look like spending time with each other, holding hands, cuddling, holding each other, and other forms of physical touch or being in each other’s physical space.
Physical connection can dissipate over time for some couples. If you notice a feeling of disgust when you think about physically connecting with your partner, it’s possible that you are experiencing “the ick” and it’s important to identify it and intervene as soon as you can to ensure it isn’t lasting long term.
Emotional Connection
Having a deep emotional connection with a partner can be a really important aspect of healthy relationships. You can be romantically and sexually attracted to a person, but if you are looking for a long term partner, it can be challenging for that relationship to blossom without emotional connection.
Emotional connection refers to the connection you have with a partner on an emotional level. This can include sharing your feelings/experiences, being vulnerable, being honest about your feelings in the relationship, talking about shared values, beliefs, and interests, talking about fears together, and much more.
Sexual Connection
Sexual connection is the ability to connect with your partner on a sexual level. While sexual connection can include sex, it can also include sexual attraction you feel towards someone. When you have a strong sexual connection with a partner, you likely feel compelled to engage in sexual activities with them and explore/expand sexual interests, desires, and fantasies with this partner.
A lack of sexual connection might mean that you do not feel particularly compelled to engage in sexual encounters with a partner and this can happen even if you feel romantically attracted to a partner.
Improving Connection with a Partner
Don’t feel defeated if you have noticed a lack of connection between you and your partner. The good news is that as long as you and your partner both want the relationship to work and thrive, there are things you can do to bolster any lack of connection.
First, do you feel attracted to your partner? There are various types of attraction when it comes to romantic relationships: physical or aesthetic attraction, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction, amongst others. You may notice you have a strong sexual attraction to a partner, but don’t feel as emotionally attracted. Identifying where the lack of attraction is can be the first step in addressing a lack in areas for connection.
Next, are you able to talk with your partner about the lack of connection you feel? Is this something you think your partner will agree with? Do you have any concerns about how your partner might react if you share with them that you feel your connection could be improved upon? Having these kinds of conversations in relationships can be tough, but it’s always better to be honest about your needs than to repress them for a long period.
Finally, you can find all kinds of tips and tricks in this podcast episode. Doc Erica graciously shares almost 200 different strategies couples can use to grow in their connection with each other, whether it be emotional, physical, or sexual.
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Dr. Kate and Doc Erica talk today about Doc Erica’s newest book, out today, Intimacy ≠ Sex: 180 Activities to Help Couples Connect and look at the holistic definition of Intimacy, including intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical, experimental/recreational intimacy and not just sexual intimacy. Erica believes that only by giving priority to all these forms of intimacy, will a relationship last. They also talk about a few of the 180 activities that can help couples connect and how we as a society can make our way to valuing true intimacy.
We are the loneliest we have ever been. Holistic intimate connection is at a low. Has our culture of Electronics affected all of this? Are people dismissing emotional attachment?
Listen to the conversation for insights and practical advice and a fun conversation.
