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Is It Ever OK to Cheat? With Dan Savage, Savage Love Columnist

Mar 29, 2024

Is it ever acceptable to cheat? What do fidelity agreements look like in partnership? On this episode of Get Naked with Dr. Kate, Kate is joined by Dan Savage to talk about sex, fidelity, monogamy, non-monogamy and the importance of creating the type of relationship and family YOU want, not one dictated by society.

Together, they unpack: • The dimensionality of fidelity and loyalty • Inviting sustained and controlled chaos into your relationship • The power of practice in group and community settings • The Karmic Rule of Kink and so much more! Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, media pundit, author, journalist, and LGBT community activist. Be sure to check out his column, Savage Love, and his podcast, Savage Lovecast. A special thank you to the sponsors for this episode, BEDUCATED and MAYER LABS! Head to BEDUCATED’s website and use code “drKate” for 40% off a yearly pass.

TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – 06:58 The genesis of Savage Love and how it has shaped Dan’s own relationship with sexuality as a gay man

06:59 – 08:30 Monogamy and the choice to be non-monogamous

08:31 – 11:30 Being truthful about desires and needs

11:31 – 15:37 Monogamy as compulsive vs. as a choice

15:38 – 19:23 Inviting sustained and controlled chaos into your relationship

19:24 – 22:17 Dan reflecting on people who write in expressing the need to have their desires met

22:18 – 27:50 The dimensionality of fidelity and loyalty

27:51 – 28:41 DADT (Don’t Ask Don’t Tell) When it comes to fidelity

28:42 – 33:40 Sex and politics

33:41 – 37:20 Dan’s experience during the AIDs crisis

37:21 – 38:20 The strength that exists in pleasure after doing the work

38:21 – 41:47 The power of practice in group and community settings

41:48 – 48:30 The Karmic Rule of Kink

48:31 – 50:25 Outro and where to connect with Dan

This is the cover for the Modern Intimacy with Dr. Kate Balestrieri podcast.
Dr. Kate Balestrieri, host of Modern Intimacy, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, helps people live more fulfilled lives by shattering stigma and erasing shame. Dr. Kate invites you to join her as she investigates the relationship between sex, mental health, relationships and modern society.


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