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Vibrator Education: How to Use a Vibrator for Beginners

by | Dec 18, 2022 | KINK, SEXUALITY

person exploring How to Use a Vibrator for the first time

Whether you are engaging in solo sex or wanting to improve intimacy with your partner(s), sex toys such as vibrators can be a great addition to the bedroom.

 

How Vibrators & Toys Can Improve Your Sex Life

 

As sex toys (especially vibrators) become destigmatized, many people are choosing to use vibrators to enhance their sexual intimacy with their partners. While your sex ed teacher probably didn’t teach you about vibrators, the good news is that most vibrators are user-friendly. There are various types of toys for both penis owners and those with vulvas; for the purpose of this article, I will be focusing on toys designed for those with vulvas.

 

There are numerous ways vibrators can enhance pleasurable experiences. If you are engaging in solo sex, they can be a great way to not only achieve orgasm but to explore your vulva and discover what feels good to you in your body. Everyone’s anatomy varies in different ways, so having a better understanding of your unique anatomy and what feels right can bolster pleasure. Exploring your genitals and other areas of the body allows you to have greater ownership over your pleasure while being about to communicate your points of arousal to your partner(s).

 

For those using toys during partnered sex, a vibrator can help to reduce the orgasm gap experienced primarily by women during heterosexual sex. Therefore, using a toy can allow the vulva owner to experience an orgasm or multiple during partnered sex, which can alleviate performance anxiety for their partner, increasing overall pleasure for all parties.

 

The Many Vibrator Options: Making the Right Choice for Your Preferences

 

Vibrators, you guessed it…vibrate! There are several different options to explore to determine what works best for you. Don’t get overwhelmed; vibrators can be broken down into three categories: external, internal, or both. Determining what toy fits into what category depends on the size and shape of it. It’s important to note that while some toys are designed for external or internal pleasure, there is no “wrong” way to use a sex toy; have fun with it and explore various stimulating areas of the body.

 

External Stimulation

 

External vibrators are used mainly for clitoral stimulation but can be used to explore other erogenous zones. When using an external toy, it’s important to note the size and shape. Larger wand vibrators such as Le Wand and the Magic Wand offer more intensive vibration patterns to increase maximum blood flow to the clitoris.

 

Other smaller devices, such as bullet vibrators, are great for individuals new to sex toys. Bullets are more discrete than their larger wand cousins but are just as powerful. The We-Vibe Tango Bullet and Roxie Bullet Vibrator are fantastic user-friendly devices that are great for beginners.

 

Other popular external toys include finger vibrators such as the Dame Fin, which can be used as an extension of your hand for those who prefer a smaller surface area stimulation. Last but not least are the external toys that mimic oral sex through suction and vibration motions. Sex toys such as Phanxy Clitoral Licking Tongue Vibrator and Lelo Ora 3 aim to offer vulva owners the feeling of oral with the added benefit of vibration.

 

Internal Stimulation

 

The purpose of the internal toys is for vulva owners who find more pleasure from penetration or are interested in exploring penetrative devices. Internal vibrators can be inserted vaginally or anally and are designed to stimulate the G-spot. While, the G-spot is not an official part of the vagina’s anatomy; some vulva owners find immense pleasure when this internal area is focused on, or when the G-spot is stimulated.

 

G-spot vibrators are often more phallic-shaped with a curve to reach that pleasurable area. Popular internal vibrators include toys such as the Lelo Gigi 2 and Dame Arc, which offer a variety of vibration speeds and patterns.

 

Internal & External Stimulation

The dual vibrator is the best of both worlds, designed to stimulate the G-spot and the clitoris. Sex toys such as the rabbit vibrator are designed specifically to fit vulva owner’s anatomy and, with recent advancements, can now be adjusted upon use to fit each person’s unique antonymy. Toys such as the We-Vibe Nova 2 or the Lelo Soraya 2 are made with flexible material so you can personalize them to your anatomy.

           

How to Use a Vibrator During Solo or Partnered Sex

 

If you want to incorporate a vibrator into your arousal inventory, great! While vibrators are easy to use, there are a few essential things to consider when using them.

 

The Mechanics of How to Use a Vibrator

 

Maybe, this goes without saying but make sure you are reading the instructions on adequately using any toys. Vibrators vary between battery-operated plug in’s and some even have Bluetooth or Wi-Fi capabilities. There are even devices with remote controls that allow your partner to control the speed and duration of the vibration. Vibrators such as the Lovense Lush 3 are an exciting way to introduce a toy for coupled sex.

 

By researching the mechanics of your vibrator, you can choose not only the type of capabilities you desire but, most importantly, you will know how to turn it on when it comes time to use it.

           

Use Lube

           

Lubrication is an integral part of sex, especially when using a vibrator. Goody Howard, M.S.W., and sex educator elaborated to SELF magazine 2020 that lubrication is especially important due to the moving parts and motors of the vibrator that will warm up near the vulva, which can evaporate your body’s natural moisture. Using water-based lubrication is the safest for the body as well as for the longevity of the vibrator. Water-based lube such as Trojan Closer will add lubrication without any added dyes or fragrances that can irritate the skin.

 

 

Foreplay

 

Whether or not your using your vibrator for solo or coupled sex, foreplay can help maintain your arousal for not just one but multiple orgasms. Our bodies need warm-ups to create a mind-body connection. Foreplay helps reduce performance anxiety and allows you to focus on connecting with your own body and your partner’s. It’s essential when using a vibrator that you maintain a connection with your body to figure out what feels and doesn’t feel good for you.

 

Start With The Lowest Setting

 

When introducing a vibrator into the bedroom, you want to make sure you adjust the levels to fit your vulva. Make sure you start with the lowest setting and work your way up as needed; that way, you can avoid being overly stimulated.

 

Clean Up

 

Cleaning your toy will help maintain the health of your vagina. Even if you are the only person using the vibrator, you should always clean your vibrator to avoid bacterial spread, especially with toys made out of porous material. Cleaning your vibrator is easy; use foaming hand soap and warm water; the toy should be thoroughly cleaned and ready to use next time.

 

Explore & Have Fun!

 

Vibrators are an excellent opportunity for empowerment, exploration, novelty, and connectivity. With toys, you can find a range of new sensations and pleasures that you can experience solo or with your partner(s). If lust breeds from creativity, why not indulge in toys?

Modern Intimacy is a group therapy practice, founded by renowned Psychologist and Sex Therapist, Dr. Kate Balestrieri. This inclusive blog is designed to provide a wealth of information and resources for mental health, relationships, and sexuality. Subscribe today to get the latest information from our expert contributors from all around the world.

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Author Bio

Brooke Brownlee, APCC is an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor at Modern Intimacy under the supervision of Dr. Kate Balestrieri. Brooke is passionate about helping clients heal from trauma, feel more empowered sexually, and repair relationships. Brooke is continuing her education and working towards becoming a Certified Sex Therapist.

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