The term “codependent” has become incredibly popular in recent years as people begin to identify dysfunctional patterns in their love lives. Codependency is characterized by low self-esteem, feeling guilty, and a pattern of relationship addiction. Codependency is often the result of trauma or a learned pattern from codependent family members, and this codependent relationship quiz can help you identify if there are patterns you’d like to address.
If any of this is ringing true with you, take our codependent relationship quiz. Having a codependent personality is not the end of the world: through mindfulness, therapy, and introspection, you can start to feel good about your relationships again.
What is a Codependent Relationship?
A codependent relationship is any relationship in which the codependent individual starts to feel that they cannot survive on their own and need their partner to function. The term originated in Alcoholics Anonymous in the 1950s, after seeing many addicts show the same behavior patterns in their romantic relationships.
Codependent relationships appear due to any number of reasons. A traumatic childhood, previous toxic relationships, and addiction struggles are all risk factors for codependent issues.
Codependency is insidious. It can be difficult to know that what you’re experiencing isn’t normal. This codependency quiz can start you on a path to healthy, fulfilling relationships.
Start the Codependent Relationship Quiz
These questions will help you examine your relationship and determine whether or not you are in a codependent dynamic. For more info after reading, we highly recommend the Melody Beattie books on overcoming codependency.
1. Do You Have An Intense Fear of Abandonment?
Fear of abandonment is a very common symptom of trauma. However, the fear of being alone can make you stay in unhealthy relationships for far too long.
2. Do You Feel Responsible for the Actions of Others?
Even in relationships, each person is responsible for their own behavior. Being unable to hold a partner accountable is a worrying sign.
3. Do You Often Make Sacrifices to Keep Your Partner Happy?
Relationships require compromise, but if you are constantly sacrificing your happiness for your partner, your relationship is likely codependent.
4. Do You Over-Value the Approval of Others?
Your value should come from within yourself, not from the approval of other people.
5. Are You Unable to Stay Single?
If you’re a serial monogamist, that likely points to other codependent behaviors that need examining.
6. Are You Financially Reliant on Your Partner?
One-income households can swing into financial abuse very quickly when the partners are codependent.
7. Do You Have Difficulty Expressing Your Needs?
Codependent people will often downplay their own needs to keep the peace. This, however, leads to resentment and tension.
8. Do You Feel No One Else Will Love You?
This is never true. If your partner has convinced you, they are the only one who can love you, that is concerning.
9. Do You Have Difficulty Making Decisions?
If you default to your partner on all or most decisions, your dynamic has swung into codependency.
10. Do You Trust Yourself?
Trusting yourself is essential to having healthy relationships. If you don’t trust yourself, that’s a sign of deeper mental health issues.
Finished the Codependent Relationship Quiz?
If you answered yes to many of these questions, you’re likely in a codependent relationship. This codependent relationship quiz is a strong start to remedying these behaviors.
Codependency is a common reaction to trauma and childhood neglect and is often not your own fault. Taking concrete steps to address your codependent behavior isn’t easy, but it is always worth it.
If you recognize these signs of codependency, fret not. Healing is possible, through individual and/or couples counseling, and healthy relationships are on the horizon.