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What is a Sex Club & Can They Save a Relationship? Featuring Keeley Rankin

Feb 3, 2023

It might come as a surprise for some that clubs exist that cater to people looking to engage in sexual escapades with a partner(s) or fellow club goers. That being said, sex clubs are not disorganized sexual free-for-alls. Anyone interested in attending a sex club for the first time might benefit from doing a bit of research around the best club for their specific preferences and needs.


What is a Sex Club?


A sex club is an establishment where people can go to, as the name suggests, have sex! This can look like going on a solo mission to find a partner, making a date night out of attending with a partner, or fulfilling a sexual preference of enjoying watching others have sex.


The clubs come in all shapes and sizes. There are myriad different types of clubs that include different features, follow certain themes, and offer various services. While sex clubs are not as common as your run of the mill night club, most cities have at least one designated club where people can go beyond what happens on a regular club’s dance floor.


Some clubs are made to look like standard nightclubs but have designated private rooms that people can reserve for more secluded sexual encounters. Other sex clubs might be held at more intimate settings like someone’s home or a more discreet venue for those who want the excitement of a sex club in a more comfortable setting.


One of the great things about sex clubs is there is most likely something for everyone, no matter what the preference or desire.


Sex Club for Beginners: What to Know Before You Go


For some, the idea of spontaneously popping up at a local sex club might seem fun, but they tend to be more regimented with clientele. It’s important to remember that sex clubs are businesses and still have legal and ethical guidelines to follow in order to keep their patrons safe. Some clubs might require a vetting process and others may be a bit laxer. There are several things you might consider before going to your first club.


Do Your Research


Before diving into your first sex club experience, you might want to do some research into what you might expect. Some clubs don’t have websites and operate more on a word-of-mouth basis so the internet is your friend here, if you don’t already have a recommendation. Going on forums such as Reddit can provide stories and reviews of what it’s like to attend a club.


Outside of personal experiences, you may want to do some research around things like entrance fees, dress codes, etiquette, etc, so you can know more about what to expect.


Define Your Sex Club Preferences


Since sex clubs can cater to certain preferences and desires, it can help to tap into your sex club fantasy and make note of what you’re looking for through this experience. Do you want something private or a setting where you can see sex and be seen having sex by others? Do you want to go to an actual club-like establishment with a lot of people, or do you prefer something more intimate with smaller attendance held at someone’s house?


Are you looking for something that caters to couples who want to swap partners, such as swinger’s clubs? Do you want to attend a sex club with a particular theme? Are you looking for a club that caters to a certain demographic such as gay single men?


Consider Boundaries with Yourself and/or Others


If you are going to a sex club solo, what boundaries do you have in mind that you’d like to communicate to others? This can be something like, “I am willing to do everything except for penetrative sex,” or “this part of my body is off limits.” These are any rules or limitations you have around contact with others you interact with at the club.


If you are going to a sex club with your partner, what are your intentions together? Have you had conversations about what boundaries you share as a couple? Sex clubs can be great places for couples to explore and expand their desires, and it often helps to ensure everyone is on the same page in terms of expectations.


Pack Accordingly


Many sex clubs provide items such as condoms or lube, but if you have preference in terms of what brand or type of condom/lube you wish to use, plan to bring that with you to the club so you have everything you need to feel comfortable. If you have a favorite sex toy or two in mind, you might want to pack that as well for variety.


Remember to Clean Afterwards


Similar to when you use a gym, you’re expected to sanitize the area for the next person; the same is true for sex clubs. It’s best etiquette to clean any spaces you used while at a club after you’re finished. The club likely will have cleaning supplies nearby so you most likely don’t have to worry about bringing your own supplies.


Going to a sex club for the first time can be an exhilarating experience. Sex clubs are just one of many avenues most people have at their disposal to explore their sexuality and desires deeper. If sex clubs are something you and/or you and your partner have been toying with, it could be a great way to expand pleasure, eroticism, and connection with others.



Our guest today is Keeley Rankin, featured in publications like Huffington Post and O Magazine. She calls herself a pleasure advocate and a sexy-preneur. Keeley is a sex and relationship coach based in San Francisco, California. She works with individuals and couples who want to embrace their innate desires, build sexual confidence, and fully realize their sexual potential.


Dr. Kate and Keeley define and discuss Sex Clubs, and answer multiple questions such as What are the different frameworks of consent practiced at sex clubs. Conversations that may behoove them to have beforehand. Are they for couples and singles?


And of course, the pros and cons of embarking on this type of outing, along with the psychological and emotional states of each partner about this issue.


You can find Keeley at: www.keeleyrankin.com and IG https://www.instagram.com/keeleyrankinsexcoach/


Website: www.modernintimacy.com

Dr. Kate Balestrieri

Modern Intimacy

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Dr. Kate Balestrieri, host of Modern Intimacy, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, helps people live more fulfilled lives by shattering stigma and erasing shame. Dr. Kate invites you to join her as she investigates the relationship between sex, mental health, relationships and modern society.


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