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Orgasmic Meditation: Using Mindfulness for Better Sex


woman about to engage in orgasmic meditation

There’s no doubt that meditation practices can be difficult. But what if there was a way to make meditation more enjoyable? In practicing orgasmic meditation or OM, you can achieve greater levels of intimacy.


What Is Orgasmic Meditation?


According to Healthline, orgasmic meditation, otherwise known as OM, is a unique wellness practice that combines mindfulness, touching, and pleasure. There is only one goal from this practice: let go and feel. Orgasmic meditation can be done over a period of 15 minutes as a solo or partnered experience between two consenting individuals.


For an example of what OM cab look like, the receiving individual would be laying on their back in a butterfly position with their legs open and their partner would be stroking the area around the upper left quadrant of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion. This partner would typically be wearing gloves that are doused in lubricant. No touching of the other partner’s genitalia is done during this process. The pleasure is solely for you in the present moment.


Ironically enough, the intention from this om practice is not orgasm. The intention is not even thought to be in relation to foreplay either. The intention is similar to that of traditional meditation. Orgasmic meditation aims to shift your thought process to the here and now, and to fully experience the pleasure happening to your body. It is about slowing down, turning your mind off, and paying attention to your body and breath.


It is important to be mindful while making the decision to explore this further if you’re curious about trying OM. Due to the intensity of the surge of feelings and emotions within your mind and body that may arise throughout this process, it can be an understandably overwhelming experience.


Orgasmic meditation is known to be quite controversial, as you might expect. However, for folks struggling with issues around sex and their body, they may benefit from this type of practice.


Benefits Of Orgasmic Meditation


Orgasmic meditation has many of the same health benefits as traditional forms of meditation, only sexier. Do you find yourself wanting to connect with your sexual self on a deeper level? Or yearning to know how you enjoy sexual touch so you can best explain it to your play partner(s)?


Whether you’re a beginner or a pro at knowing your body and what feels pleasurable to you, it can be fun (and stress reducing) to learn more about yourself, seeing as desires may change over time. According to Cosmopolitan, a few examples of health benefits orgasmic meditation include:


  • Reduces stress
  • Promoting mental health
  • Empowers female pleasure
  • Improves sleep
  • Reduces anxiety
  • Enhances self-awareness
  • Healthier and happier relationships
  • Increased happiness
  • More enjoyable, connected, and open sex life
  • Self-exploration leading to knowing how you like to be pleasured
  • Reduces shame in self-exploration
  • Simple: It just feels good!


It is scientifically proven that during orgasm, an area of the brain releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and during climax the brain releases dopamine (the feel good hormone). This is just a fancy way of saying that orgasmic meditation has the potential to not only make you feel good, but also to be experiencing deeper, more meaningful connection to yourself and your partner(s).


Think about the brain as being a muscle, and like any muscle, sometimes it needs intentional work. Think of working out in the gym to get stronger physically. That is exactly what the practice of orgasmic meditation is, but rather than physical strength, you are becoming stronger emotionally and mentally. Practice makes perfect, so give yourself permission to have fun with it.


Orgasmic Meditation For Solo And Partnered Experiences


There is no right or wrong way to experience orgasmic meditation. It can be done with a partner, or it can be experienced with some solo exploration. Below is an step-by-step of how to engage in orgasmic meditation, as outlined by an article on “Vanilla is the New Kink.”


  1. Create your “nest.” Find a quiet and comfortable place and position to lay down in, for example, surrounding yourself with pillows or blankets. You should also prepare two timers nearby.
  2. Set the first timer for 13 minutes. The second timer should be set for 2 minutes.
  3. Before starting, the person doing the clitoral stroking should describe what they see, because OM involves a lot of communication between partners. (If engaging in solo play, maybe try by positioning yourself in front of a mirror).
  4. Next, the person providing clitoral stimulation will apply lube on their fingers or on their glove, if they decide to wear one.
  5. A very important step is asking the person receiving the stroking for their consent. Remember that this consent can be withdrawn at any time!
  6. After receiving verbal consent, the giver can begin stroking the upper left hand quadrant around the clitoris.
  7. When the first 13 minutes are up, the stoker should begin using down strokes, for the remaining 2 minutes.
  8. After the stimulating the clitoris for 15 minutes, the stroker should apply pressure to their partner’s genitalia using their hand so both participants can fall back in their bodies.
  9. The session is finalized by cleaning up the lube and putting the “nest” away (and potentially having some aftercare or debriefing on how that experience was for not just the receiver, but also the giver).


Continue to keep in mind that this experience does not have to end in orgasm. Enjoy being in the moment, enjoy being in the body, and prioritize your pleasure. Want to learn more? A sex therapist can help you get started.

Modern Intimacy is a group therapy practice, founded by renowned Psychologist and Sex Therapist, Dr. Kate Balestrieri. This inclusive blog is designed to provide a wealth of information and resources for mental health, relationships, and sexuality. Subscribe today to get the latest information from our expert contributors from all around the world.


Author Bio

Raquel VanLoon, LCPC, CSAT, CADC, is a Clinical Associate for Modern Intimacy. Raquel feels passionate about helping individuals through their journey on becoming their most authentic selves in any relationship or setting. Raquel works with people to develop and maintain healthy boundaries.



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