Imagine you’re in a relationship where your partner expresses love through non-sexual touch and unsolicited favors. You don’t think you’re falling out of love, yet you struggle to feel appreciated at times. You would rather be reminded of how important you are to them, so you express love by affirming them the way you wish to be affirmed. Read on to take a love language quiz that can help teach you and your partner how to give love in a way that works for each of you.
What are Love Languages?
Love languages are different ways to give and receive love. These were developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor who noticed that many unhappy couples felt as though they weren’t receiving love or that their efforts weren’t being recognized by their partner. Love languages thus help couples understand how to show each other love in meaningful ways.
There are 5 different love languages.
Words of affirmation: supporting your partner with words and telling them what you appreciate about them
Quality time: spending time with your significant other
Acts of service: doing helpful tasks for your partner.
Receiving gifts: receiving a heartfelt gift (not necessarily materialistic) that shows a partner you were thinking of them throughout the day.
Physical touch: non-sexual physical touch that makes you feel close and connected to your partner.
Love Language Quiz: What’s Your Love Language?
Read through each scenario of our love language quiz and select the choice that best describes your wants. Be sure to indicate if multiple situations would work for you, but see if you can identify your favorite.
After a long stressful day of work, you want:
a. your partner to acknowledge how hard you’ve been working and how proud they are of you
b. to have your partner hold space for you by sitting on the couch with you and having a conversation
c. to come home and find all of the dishes washed and put away
d. to be surprised with DoorDash from your partner
e. a long hug and to cuddle with your partner.
Which situation would make you feel the most appreciated by your partner?
a. Your partner tells you specific reasons they appreciate you
b. A date night with a no-phone rule
c. Your partner fills up your tank of gas when they notice it’s low
d. Your partner picks up your favorite snack at the grocery store without you asking
e. Holding hands with your partner as you walk down the street
Which of the following scenarios would bring you the most joy?
a. Receiving a random text from your partner that they love you
b. Going for a walk around the neighborhood together
c. Doing a DIY project you’ve been meaning to get to with your partner
d. A surprise coffee/tea while you’re working
e. A massage from your partner
If you got mostly A’s, your primary love language may be words of affirmation.
If you got mostly B’s, your primary love language may be quality time.
If you got mostly C’s, your primary love language may be acts of service.
If you got mostly D’s, your primary love language may be receiving gifts.
If you got mostly E’s, your primary love language may be physical touch.
It’s okay if you got all different answers. You may be open to receiving love in many different ways. This love language test is designed to get you thinking about and talking to your partner about scenarios that would make you feel loved and valued.
The Importance of Knowing Your Partner’s Love Language
Knowing and speaking your partner’s primary love language can help you show love to your partner(s) in a way that works for them. Inversely, having your partner know your primary love language ensures that you feel loved and appreciated in the relationship.
When a couple doesn’t understand love languages, they can unintentionally harm their partner and leave you both with a lot of repairing to do. For example, if your partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation, hurling an insult at them when you’re angry could result in a tempestuous reaction. Similarly, if a partner’s love language is receiving gifts, you may want to mark important dates on a calendar as forgetting a birthday or anniversary could be devastating to a partner.
Knowing and understanding your partner’s love language can help strengthen your relationship. It helps you both show up for each other in meaningful ways.
This love languages test can be a great way to help you understand yourself and your partner. Comparing your results can be a fun way to initiate a conversation on what you might want more or less of in your relationship.