Healing from Infidelity

Healing from Infidelity

Infidelity is a gruesome betrayal; one that can leave scars on the person betrayed for many years. Healing from infidelity can take time, but is possible, whether the relationship survived, or the couple has parted ways. This online or in-person program helps people catch their breath after a betrayal, and recalibrate their mind, body, and heart in the wake of betrayal trauma. Infidelity can cause physical, emotional, sexual, relational, social, financial and spiritual consequences. This program helps any betrayed partner identify how betrayal has impacted them, including their betrayal trauma symptoms, and offers practical tools and skills to get support, heal and start feeling like themselves again.

Who Can Benefit From Healing from Infidelity

Anyone who has been betrayed knows that healing from infidelity is a unique process; different for everyone and unifying in its despair. This course can help each person evaluate which parts of their heart need tending, so they can build resilience, and explore what they need to move forward stronger from the experience. People who want to know why, want to understand how they missed it, how they can love again, trust again, and start over, whether with the same person or someone new can benefit from understanding the causes and impacts of betrayal trauma, as well how to practice boundaries and self-care to protect against more pain and work toward betrayal trauma recovery.

What Specialty Topics Are Addressed?

Betrayal can infect every aspect of a hurt partner’s life. This program helps those who have endured betrayal and are working on surviving infidelity to regain a sense of power, feel supported, validate their fears and address life in the future. This course will cover topics like the physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, financial, and social impacts of betrayal and infidelity, how to recognize gaslighting, set and maintain boundaries, build internal and external resources for support and strength, regulate your emotions, grieve the loss of the relationship you thought you had, and heal every part of you that hurts.

Identify the Impact of Betrayal Trauma

Develop a Sustainable Self-Care Plan

Evaluate How to Trust Again

Set & Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Obtain Resources for Financial, Legal and Medical Needs

Recognize the Power of Your Internal Strengths

What Specialty Topics Are Addressed?

Betrayal can infect every aspect of a hurt partner’s life. This program helps those who have endured betrayal and are working on surviving infidelity to regain a sense of power, feel supported, validate their fears and address life in the future. This course will cover topics like the physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, financial, and social impacts of betrayal and infidelity, how to recognize gaslighting, set and maintain boundaries, build internal and external resources for support and strength, regulate your emotions, grieve the loss of the relationship you thought you had, and heal every part of you that hurts.

Identify the Impact of Betrayal Trauma

Develop a Sustainable Self-Care Plan

Evaluate How to Trust Again

Set & Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Obtain Resources for Financial, Legal and Medical Needs

Recognize the Power of Your Internal Strengths

Benefits Of Healing from Infidelity

You don’t have to feel alone

A cheating partner can leave you feeling alone and without anyone to turn to, especially if you are not sure who you can trust or feel any shame. Taking the time to focus on yourself is the best gift you can give yourself and can help you decide who to reach out to during and after the program so you can find relationships to be safe and rewarding once again. The experts at Modern Intimacy can guide you through your betrayal trauma recovery, helping to validate and witness your pain and growth every step of the way.

Address all aspects of betrayal trauma

It’s hard to take stock of all of the insidious ways betrayal trauma can leave you wounded for years. This program is designed to help you proactively identify what you need to begin life anew, such as how to manage dysregulation and betrayal trauma symptoms, such as hypervigilance, avoidance, nightmares, etc., and feel safe and regulated again in your own skin.

Get your life back

To learn your partner has been unfaithful is to learn that your world is upside down and life, as you knew it, is never going to be the same. This surrealism of infidelity can leave people reeling for a long time, wondering why people cheat, and feeling disconnected, in shock, angry, insecure, confused, sick or ashamed. Investing in your recovery and focusing on healing from infidelity is the first step toward taking your power back and reclaiming the life you want and deserve

Learn to trust again

So many questions arise from betrayal. Why didn’t they just tell me they were unhappy? What if this, that or the other thing had been different? How could I have missed this? People go through great lengths to deceive their partner, including the use of gaslighting, when they are unfaithful. One of the most challenging aspects of healing from infidelity can often be learning to trust again, whether trusting yourself, the partner who betrayed you, or future partners.

Set boundaries

Whether you have chosen to stay in the relationship, leave, or have not made a decision yet, learning to set boundaries about what you share, and with whom, regarding your process of healing from infidelity is key for your betrayal trauma recovery. Also, how to evaluate trustworthiness in the future depends largely on the boundaries you establish and maintain in relationships moving forward, whether with the person who betrayed you or others in your life. Effective boundaries are necessary for self-care, mutuality, and healing from infidelity.

Re-establish confidence and self-worth

Healing from infidelity can wreak havoc on your self-esteem and confidence, but infidelity is never your fault. There are so many alternatives to solving relationship problems other than cheating, but people who have been betrayed often feel responsible, at fault, or inadequate. Healing from infidelity interrupts this narrative and puts blame back where it belongs, on the person who broke your trust, freeing you up to get back to the business of loving and respecting yourself.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why did my partner cheat on me?

There are many driving factors behind why people cheat. Often infidelity is fielded by insecurity, anger, a need for power, revenge for real or imagined hurts, or because of an addiction. Whatever the reason, it wasn’t your fault. Your partner made choices that failed to respect your heart. Sometimes understanding the reasons for cheating can help heal the pain of betrayal trauma, but other times the answers may not be clear or don’t lead to relief. It’s best to focus on taking care of you, and your own healing, so your path toward healing from infidelity is not contingent on anyone else’s motives, remorse or lack thereof.

Why do I want to know all the details of the infidelity?

Like any other traumatic event, a common response is an overactive hypervigilance response. Checking your partner’s phone, computer, whereabouts is a strategy your brain believes may help reduce the fear about what other information you don’t know and is a natural response to feeling helpless or powerless. However, doing so can lead to a staggered discovery or disclosure of new information, which can actually lead to a more complicated trauma response.

Why do I pick cheaters?

Some people tend to have a history smattered with unfaithful partners. This can often be the case if one or both of your parents had difficulty with fidelity, or if early romantic relationships left you betrayed. Early relationships imprint the nervous symptoms with cues for what love looks and feels like, leaving people to pick partners based on unconscious patterns that feel familiar, even if consciously those same patterns would leave those same people running for the hills.

When I start to feel okay again after healing from infidelity?

There is no set trajectory for healing from infidelity. Often, healing is a stepwise path, as opposed to one that is linear. That said, the first priority is to evaluate the ways you feel most impacted and then, with the help of a mental health professional, trusted friends, or supportive family, you can charter a course that works for you. This program is one tool to help you along your way, and will help you evaluate how to start, when to reach out for support, and when to say no thank you.

Why didn’t I see the signs of infidelity?

First of all, stop beating yourself up. It is likely the unfaithful partner went to great lengths to cover up their behavior or explained away any suspicions you may have had. It is not your job to play detective, and more often than not people give their partners the benefit of the doubt. This is healthy. However, sometimes people are conditioned to miss or overlook red flags, due to earlier trauma or a history of infidelity in their past relationships or families of origin. Working through a healing from infidelity program like this can help you unearth any blind spots that may have prevented you from staying in reality in the relationship, without placing blame on you for what happened.

Can I ever trust a cheating partner again?

This is a complex question, and one that is based on several variables. Whether or not to trust someone who has been unfaithful is a very personal decision. You might ask yourself what they are doing to help you with healing from infidelity, can they validate your triggers, engage in their own therapy or process of self-discovery. Evaluating your own boundaries and bottom lines and taking responsibility for your own healing will help you assess what level of risk you are willing to tolerate, should you decide to give a cheating partner another chance.

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