6 Reasons to Try Hotel Room Sex


couple excited for hotel room sex on vacation

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, have kids at home or roommates, or want to change the scenery, spicing up your sex with a getaway of hotel room sex can be hot hot hot! What is it about hotel room sex that turns some people on so much? How can you have safe hotel sex that provides emotional and physical safety while keeping it fun?


Sex and Stress


For some mysterious reason, when people and couples go to hotels, the sex is often so much better than it is at home. For many, arousal is higher, passion is intensified, and curiosity to expand sexual repertoire spikes.


Stress and anxiety from impactful life events or day-to-day life can impact arousal. Multiple studies, like Chronic Stress and Sexual Dysfunction in Women, have shown that distractions and chronic stress can hinder arousal.


Physiologically, chronic stress results in increased amounts of the stress hormone, cortisol. The release of stress hormones interferes with the release of hormones associated with reproduction and sexual responses. Additionally, chronic stress in the form of high blood pressure, can result in decreased blood flow to the genitals upon stimulation. The lessened blood flow to the genitals can present as erectile dysfunction, a less girthier penis, decreased swelling in the clitoris and labia, and decreased vaginal wetness, to name a few.


Although it can be seen as positive that psychological arousal wasn’t as impacted by chronic stress and distractions, the decreased physiological arousal response to chronic stress and distractions can be hypothesized to have an emotional impact. So even if you really wanted to be a focused, fully present active participant, stress and distractions can inhibit the body’s ability to achieve full arousal in response to stimulus, and the disappointment can lead to a negative mental, relational, and emotional experiences.


Trying Hotel Room Sex to Relieve the Stress


So how does hotel room sex fit into cortisol, blood pressure, and chronic stress? According to psychotherapist Ian Kerner, multiple factors contribute to why going to a real hotel leads to better sex.


When couples go to real hotels, it’s a getaway and a special experience. A time away from home, from the routine and the daily stressors that occupy their minds and sex drives. As a result, the break away from day-to-day life gives your body a chance to relax, making arousal responses easier to attain and maintain.


6 Reasons You Might Try Hotel Room Sex


Scheduled Sex


Scheduling sex allows physical and emotional preparation, enables excitement, and builds anticipation for a better experience. For couples with mismatched libidos or people struggling with performance anxiety, going to a hotel is an opportunity to prepare, plan, destress, and get excited!


Arousal From Indulgence


Immersing the senses in luxury rooms with fresh sheets, intoxicating smells, relaxing aesthetics, or early morning or late-night hotel room service can do a lot to impact libido and desire positively.


Break From Day-to-Day Life


Getting away from home makes it easier to get in the mood and stay in the mood. Being away from your typical environment, the daily stressors, and reminders of obligations or work that needs to be done, gives your body and arousal the space it needs to reignite and flourish.


Break From Routine Sex


At home, people can grow accustom and comfortable in the kind of sex they have, making it easy to fall into a sex routine. Compounding work, life, and family stress can make spending enough time on sex difficult. Going to hotels is an opportunity to break away from routine, spend more time building up to sex, spend more time on sex, and leave space for aftercare.


What Happens on Vacation, Stays in Vacation


Going to a hotel can enable couples to be more open and inviting to adventurous behaviors and to trying new things. Perhaps it could provide an opportunity to try out that new toy, position, or even put on a French maid costume.


Explore the French Maid Fantasy


Around the 19th century, having a French maid was a sign of wealth and elegance. These women were young, attractive, and dressed highly conservatively. Over time, accusations of husbands having affairs with their French maid spread from Europe to the United States. Soon after, the French maid character was transformed, sexualized, and performed in Burlesque shows across the country.


Over time the scandalous character of the French maid became a fantasy for a lot of people, resulting in the popular role-play and sexy Halloween costume many recognize today.


If role play or dress up fantasy exploration was something you or your partner are interested in, what better opportunity to explore that than going to a hotel!


Bring Your Hotel Sex Setting Home


Making a habit of going to hotels for a night or weekend can easily become very expensive way spice up the sex, especially if children or pets at home need care.


For privacy, try to find alternative evening arrangements for any roommates or children, if you have any. Besides necessary contacts, putting the phones on silent or Do Not Disturb can help facilitate an isolated environment.


To really set the mood and scene, tidying up, adjusting the lights, lighting some candles, and playing music of choice can do a lot to transform a space from everyday home to something more special.


The rest is taking time and having patience to allow the mind and body to disconnect from life’s distractions and to be as present as possible.

Modern Intimacy is a group therapy practice, founded by renowned Psychologist and Sex Therapist, Dr. Kate Balestrieri. This inclusive blog is designed to provide a wealth of information and resources for mental health, relationships, and sexuality. Subscribe today to get the latest information from our expert contributors from all around the world.


Author Bio

Hunter English is an associate clinical extern at Modern Intimacy under the supervision of Dr. Kate Balestrieri. Hunter aims to help individuals and couples find their unique path to happy relationships, long-lasting and fulfilling sex lives, and liberation within one’s identity and desires. Hunter is completing her Master’s degree at the University of Miami and is working towards becoming a Certified Sex Therapist.



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