Sex is one of the most crucial parts of life. It’s responsible for the existence of humans and many of the problems that humans experience. Sex is complicated for everyone and some more than others. If you need help with a problem in your sex life, you want to increase your erotic intelligence or have burning questions about sexual desire, here are 10 of the best sex therapy books that can help you:
Sex Positive Books for People of All Genders
Come As You Are (The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life) by Emily Nagoski PhD
Sex therapist Dr. Emily Nagoski discusses the variety and uniqueness of individual female sexual pleasure and how to improve your sex life.
She discusses the pedal and breaks of arousal: the continuously active cycle of what turns you on — and off — and how understanding (rather than shaming) yours can help you achieve gratification.
This sex manual is for people who want to know why there will never be a pink pill for women who have sexual difficulties, and want to understand and positively enhance a woman’s experience of sex.
The New Male Sexuality: The Truth About Men, Sex, and Pleasure by Bernie Zilbergeld
The New Male Sexuality is a guide that focuses on men and their experience of sex. With an emphasis on pleasure rather than performance, it offers advice on how to keep things exciting and satisfying.
This book is for men who want answers to their questions about masculinity and their partners who want to understand them better.
Transgender activist Juno Roche, discusses sex, intimacy and relationships for trans and non-binary people, and she invites readers to challenge their own preconceived notions. Queer Sex shines positivity on trans bodies and aims to empower all trans people.
This book is for people who want to open their minds to new concepts of sexuality, gender and relationships, learn about or relate to the trans and non-binary experience, and celebrate the beauty and courage that members of the community possess.
This book is for anyone trying to understand what it means to be Asexual, especially in a culture that is so focused on sex. Ripe with research and personal accounts, this book helps challenge the narrative embedded in mainstream culture about the over-coupling of sex and identity.
Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller
Glimpse into the world of sexual fantasies with Justin Lehmiller. His book showcases his groundbreaking study results: He asked 4,000 Americans some pretty unusual personal questions. He explains what fantasies can teach you and how you can make them a reality in your relationships.
This book is for people who want to learn about sexual diversities and wish to feel more comfortable with their own fantasies, and become less judgmental of their partner’s fantasies and curiosities.
Sex Therapy Books for Healing
Life, Reinvented: A Guide to Healing from Sexual Trauma for Survivors and Loved Ones by Erin Carpenter
Life, Reinvented is a healing guide for people who have experienced sexual trauma in its many forms. It explains what happens in the brain of people who experience sexual trauma and includes tools and strategies for recovery.
This book is for victims of sexual trauma who are trying to heal and their loved ones who want to understand their experience.
Gary Wilson explains the history of porn addiction, its strong ties with culture and technology and surprisingly, its correlation with a rise in sexual dysfunction. This insightful book contains testimonials from people who have abstained from sexually stimulating material.
This book is for individuals — and the people who love them — who want to learn about the benefits or detriments of porn, questioning the possibility of compulsive porn use or healing from the damaging effects of porn addiction.
Coping With Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner & Have Great Sex by Barry W. McCarthy, Ph.D. and Michael E. Metz, Ph.D.
For anyone with a penis, having an orgasm before you are ready can be a source of frustration or embarrassment. This resource is designed for couples, and address myriad solo and partnered approaches to regaining a sense of orgasm control. Structured exercises offer the reader options for relational, physiological, psychological and techniques to try.
This book also focuses relapse prevention strategies, for sustained change.
Sex Therapy Books for Couples
Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
Exploring the conflicting relationship between desire and long-term relationships, including problems like infidelity and the third (the possibility of desiring someone outside the relationship). Esther Perel explains how you can have both, in a witty and straightforward guide to sex and relationships.
This book is for men and women who want to learn how to have more sex and desire their partner more while in a committed, long-term relationship.
Sex Without Stress: A Couple’s Guide to Overcoming Disappointment, Avoidance & Pressure by Jessa Zimmerman
Jessa Zimmerman offers couples in long-term relationships a nine-phase process to end the cycle of sex and disappointment, and the pressure and stress that go along with having an unfulfilling sex life.
This book is for couples who want to overcome sex-related issues in their relationship through a resolution rather than avoidance.
Sex Therapy Books for Parents
Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex– Peggy Orenstein
This generation’s parents have no idea what their daughters are doing, sexually or the impact it has on them. Peggy Orenstein wrote Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape for those who need help bridging the gap of understanding between parents and daughters. She reveals a need for improved sexual education and open dialogue about sex.
She realized that teenage boys have a message just as important, and she dives into the topic of toxic masculinity, being in touch with emotions and taking “no” for an answer in Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity.
These books are for parents who want to know how to educate their children so that they grow into well-rounded adults.
It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley
It’s Perfectly Normal acts as a sex educator for children 10 to 13 years old. It covers a wide range of topics related to sex, such as body image, sexually transmitted infections and birth control in a direct — yet playful — manner. Over 25 countries use this as a great resource for educating children.
This book is meant for parents to give to their children, who have curiosities about sex and how it fits into their world.
This list is not exhaustive, but rather just a few that the team at Modern Intimacy recommend frequently. Sex is not shameful, and education helps to demystify.