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10 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You

by | Mar 22, 2021 | RELATIONSHIPS

Signs He Doesn't Want a Relationship

Can you spot the signs he doesn’t want a relationship? Before you waste any more time on someone who isn’t right, learn how to decode the confusing signals.

It can be frustrating and hard to tell the difference between someone who is just naturally chilled-out and someone who doesn’t care. When it comes to the person you’re in a relationship with, that frustration can become excruciating!

So, what do you do? The first thing is to know the difference between a laid-back attitude and the signs he doesn’t want a relationship. Of course, that’s a lot easier than it sounds, but not impossible.

We’ve put together the top 10 signs that a man doesn’t want a relationship so that you can get out before it’s too late.

1. He Never Makes the First Move

If you’re looking to fall in love, you don’t want someone who’s never going to bother unless you make the first move. If your guy doesn’t text first, doesn’t make plans to meet you, and just generally doesn’t take the initiative in your relationship whatsoever, those are definite red flags. A relationship is all about putting in the effort, and if he’s not then it’s time to walk away.

2. He Cancels Frequently

Cancelling frequently could be a big sign that your man doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do about him. If he’s always ditching your plans, he’s not putting your first – and no one should put up with that! This is especially true if he doesn’t even give you an explanation, which is just plain rude.

3. He’s Always Making You Wait

Are your texts returned a day later? Are you sitting at the bar alone? If he’s making you wait, that doesn’t look like a man who wants a relationship, it looks like a man who doesn’t care enough to make you a priority (again.)

4. You Haven’t Met His Friends or Family

If you’ve been dating for some time but you’ve never met his friends and family, that’s not a good sign for the long term. Chances are he also doesn’t want to put a label on you both, and he’s not really serious about settling down with you. If you spend time with him but never with anyone in his life, it could be time to get out of there.

5. He Doesn’t Get Jealous

Jealousy is such a normal part of a relationship and, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand and become toxic, it’s healthy! A man who doesn’t get jealous over anything you do or say probably doesn’t care about it, as blunt as that may be. If you can talk about past hook-ups or even flirt with another guy right in front of him and he doesn’t bat an eyelid, you might want to start talking about why that is.

6. He Breadcrumbs You

Breadcrumbing is when a man leaves just enough to leave you hanging, but not enough to keep you actually happy. He’s in your life, but he’s not really there.

A breadcrumb could be replying to a selfie on your Instagram with a fire emoji, and then you hear nothing more when you ask him how he is. Or, it could be sending you a flirty text and then, once again, nothing. He wants to know you’re there but he’s not serious about you.

7. He Doesn’t Do Anything Nice For You

You want your partner to feel good in a relationship because you care about them. It’s why people give gifts, make surprise breakfasts, and simply take care of each other in little, romantic ways. If your man never goes out of his way to do anything nice for you, you don’t need to look much further for signs that he doesn’t want a serious relationship.

However, it can be good to chat about this one before jumping the gun. Some people just don’t know how to show their affection like that, and could even have been emotionally neglected in childhood so they never learnt to take care of someone else naturally. Talk about it and see what he says.

8. He Never Offers to Pay

Okay, so we’re all for splitting the bill and paying your own way, but a man who never offers to put his card down on the table? Come on.

It’s not that he even has to pay for you, but a man who at least offers shows that he’s interested and he wants to make a good impression on you. Not only that, but he’s willing to pay double for the date just to show that! If he doesn’t ever offer, it could be a sign that he’s not interested.

9. He Doesn’t Give You His Full Attention

There are some strong signs that make it easy to separate a serious relationship guy from a guy who’s not that interested, and one of those is how much attention they give you when they’re with you. If your man is always on social media at dinner, looking over your shoulder to see what’s going on behind you, or doesn’t seem to listen to you at all, he’s not interested! You shouldn’t put up with someone who won’t put down their phone for you, either.

10. Your Relationship is Completely Sex-Focused

While sex is always an important part of a relationship, it shouldn’t be the entire focus. It can be fun to have a lot of it when you’re starting to date, but it should also be fun to watch movies together, take long walks, and get to know each other, and if it’s not what you want you should be able to say no without him getting annoyed (that’s a very bad sign). If your man seems to only want one thing and, no matter what you do, he always shifts the day towards sex, he’s probably not thinking about settling down.

Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship Are Important

If you’re spotting signs he doesn’t want a relationship with the man you’re with, you now have to think; is that going to matter to you, or are you okay having a fling? Remember that you can’t change someone’s feelings and if your man isn’t serious now then the chances are that he never will be. Put yourself first and don’t let yourself get hurt – you deserve more than that.

If you’re in a longterm relationship with someone who seems to have lost interest, this is a different situation entirely. In that case, talk to them and if there are issues, schedule a consultation for couples counseling to begin finding a resolution.

Modern Intimacy is a group therapy practice, founded by renowned Psychologist and Sex Therapist, Dr. Kate Balestrieri. This inclusive blog is designed to provide a wealth of information and resources for mental health, relationships, and sexuality. Subscribe today to get the latest information from our expert contributors from all around the world.


Author Bio

Dr. Kate Balestrieri is a Licensed Psychologist (CA, FL, IL + NY), Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and PACT III trained Couples Therapist. She is the Founder of Modern Intimacy. Follow her on TikTok and IG @drkatebalestrieri and the Modern Intimacy team on IG @themodernintimacy.



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